Being A Terrible Person

Last night, I played a game of Cards Against Humanity with Delly, our partners, and her friends. She found a free online tool to play the game, and what’s better to do now than being horrible human beings together?

During this time of isolation, I noticed that I started liking people in general even less than I normally do. People in my neighbourhood were hanging out with friends and family, having BBQs, and even having a birthday party outside!

Yes, I was pissed. I hate people, not even caring about other people’s well being, obstructing the street and sidewalks with their party, mingling people who otherwise would never see each other. That’s how people get infected. When I heard the police was being very generous with handing out fines, I was happy. But people still continued despite the fines.

Stay home! For your sake, for my sake, for your elderly neighbour’s sake.

So playing Cards Against Humanity and just saying a general ‘fuck you’ to humans was nice. I’m a terrible person when I play. I won one round, Delly the other, but we were tied and I had to pick the winning answer: hers. Well, we know we’re both terrible and maybe that’s why we like each other.

Cards Against Humanity

Cards Against Humanity is a card gamewhere you have to fill in the blanks. The czar will read out a black card with blanks, all the other players have to fill these in with answers on their cards. Some black cards require one answer, others multiple. The answers range from silly to explicit and it’s how you match these with the black where the real fun starts.

Note: This game is definitely not for people who don’t have (dark) humour. The game is inviting you to be the most terrible person you can be. The worse the better. So if you’re easily offended, don’t play this game, because you will hate all the other players.

My strategy

The white answer cards are definitely part luck. Some cards are what I call wild cards, like “Batman!”. They’ll work in most situations. Other cards are oddly specific and are only funny in a certain context.

But it’s not just about picking the funniest answer. You have to pick the one the czar will think is funniest. The Batman-card would work for my husband’s sister, but not my brother-in-law’s wife. She’s not a nerd and can’t appreciate it (honestly, it’s good she didn’t play with us at all). But political jokes work very well on my father-in-law. And my brothers-in-law and my husband will take anything poo-pee-R-rated joke. The darker, the better.

This worked well yesterday too. I quickly figured out that anything sorcery/wizard/paranormal related would work on Delly. One of her friends wouldn’t pick the sex-related cards. My husband is still my husband, and we really know each other well enough. Figuring out what everyone likes or doesn’t like helps with winning the game. And then it’s just a matter of luck in getting the right cards.